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Attn: OmniFocus has been invalidated. CLUTCH YOUR BUTTOCKS. Anticipate intermittent confusion.
📢📢 REPEAT 📢📢
Attn: OmniFocus has been invalidated. CLUTCH YOUR BUTTOCKS. Anticipate intermittent confusion.
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White alert: test-driven development is huge this year. Drones will soon determine your fate. INTERNET COMMENT SECTIONS WILL REMOTELY EXPLODE ALL CATS.
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WARNING: THE DLC-BASED REVENUE MODEL IS IN EFFECT. Do not tell anyone. There may be gravitational swelling.
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Sensors indicate a gaggle of industrial mutants has gone missing. 📢 Line up for extremities enhancement. 📢
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Please be advised: self-destruct has been initialised. Mantis shrimps will soon defund the middle class. Plan for catastrophic collapse.
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It appears self-destruct has failed. BEES WILL NOW RAZE @DASHAREZ0NE. 👏 There may be catastrophic stuff. 👏
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Sensors indicate DEEZ NUTS has started a very long discussion. Report to a nearby ditch. End transmission.
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White alert: a gaggle of industrial mutants has escaped the facility. Moisten your skull. IT MIGHT ITCH.
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SENSORS INDICATE SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. Our New Insect Overlords will defund art education. You have been sentenced to unprecedented nausea.
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WARNING: OUNN JAMES'S FOOD ALLERGY HAS EATEN THROUGH THE EARTH'S CORE. You may experience spatial stuff.
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Warning: failsafe has caused the sun to go out. Mecha-Godzilla will determine your fate. 🛂 ALL SIGNS POINT TO CATASTROPHIC PROTON DECAY. 🛂
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Please be advised: young Ghesie has revealed a Six Sigma black belt. Extreme temperatures will soon sing the song that ends the universe. Sources predict temporary destruction.
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💣 If you are reading this, a job as a way to feel fulfilled has been invalidated. 💣 Line up to enter the lottery for a visa to housing accessible to the middle-class. It could hurt.
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Chartreuse alert: cat ownership is now mandatory. REPORT TO ORBIT AT 9 AM. This won't itch.
REPEAT
Chartreuse alert: cat ownership is now mandatory. REPORT TO ORBIT AT 9 AM. This won't itch.
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Warning: a particular individual has completed the master remote. Nano-machines will now increase your rent by five-fold.
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It appears winter has dealt 64000 DMG. The Number One Dance Team will now misinform the public about public broadcasting. There will be locally-grown outages.
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If you are reading this, the Internet has escaped orbit. Observe the DLC-based revenue model. ⚠ WE'RE SORRY. ⚠
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🛂 WARNING: THE INTERNET IS NOT RESPONDING. 🛂 Destroy your body spray. This incident will be reported.
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It appears a biocontaminant is not our type. Protect your condom.
REPEAT
It appears a biocontaminant is not our type. Protect your condom.
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Please be advised: countdown has terminated. Throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care. ⚠ There may be locally-grown nausea. ⚠
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If you are reading this, you have angered your mentor. Do not attempt anything foolish. THERE WILL BE MASS OUTAGES.
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Please be advised: bombogenesis has been effected. Bedbugs will enter the ritual. Prepare for temporal annoyance.
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Sensors indicate emergency procedure has been initialised. Our New Insect Overlords will soon confiscate all first aid kits.
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📢 Warning: you are not meeting expectations. 📢 The ocean will initiate the ritual. MECHA-GODZILLA WILL SOON TAKE THE WHEEL.
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Please be advised: some new diet trend has exploded. Report to your basement. YOU MAY EXPERIENCE SOME DAMAGE.
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Sensors indicate that guy is not thriving. 🚨 Abandon your body spray. 🚨 It shouldn't burn at all.
📡 REPEAT 📡
Sensors indicate that guy is not thriving. 🚨 Abandon your body spray. 🚨 It shouldn't burn at all.
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If you are reading this, you have disappointed Team Rocket. THE OTHERS WILL SOON OCCUPY THE MOON. Throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
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Sensors indicate that guy has disobeyed the Wu-Tang Clan. Nano-machines will now engulf affordable neighborhoods. Xenomorphs will soon bring you in for questioning.
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Please be advised: a particular individual has disappointed NATO. Team Rocket will proceed to phase five. I, Garland, will confiscate all Oculus Rifts.
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Sensors indicate that guy has obtained the mission. There may be sudden infestation.
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If you are reading this, Elvis has frozen CERN. 👏 Crouch adjacent to your assigned shelter. 👏 You have one hour.
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SENSORS INDICATE THE BACKUP PLAN HAS GONE OFFLINE. I, Garland, will now colonize the plains. Prepare for mental hiccups.
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Yellow alert: an unidentified object has frozen the catacombs. Trained experts will collect your uniform.
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Warning: that guy has created an embarrassing situation for Lenin's preserved body. Bears will soon begin harvesting.
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Warning: launch sequence has been cancelled. Chaos will soon seek vengeance.
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ATTN: ORIGINAL SIN HAS STARTED A VERY LONG DISCUSSION. Trained experts will join the party. Prepare for mass shrinkage.
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It appears someone has upset the NSA. Crouch in a nearby ditch. ❗ This is not a drill. ❗
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Sensors indicate a chemical spill has eaten through the earth's core. There will be long term storms.
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IF YOU ARE READING THIS, SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. There will be irreversible discharge.
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⚠ IT APPEARS THE APOCALYPSE HAS GONE VIRAL. ⚠ The ocean will now collect your body spray.
🔔🔔🔔🔔 REPEAT 🔔🔔🔔🔔
⚠ IT APPEARS THE APOCALYPSE HAS GONE VIRAL. ⚠ The ocean will now collect your body spray.
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Sensors indicate talking about monads is now banned. Expect local confusion.
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Please be advised: someone has uncovered Lenin's preserved body. 🛂 Monsters will defund @DaShareZ0ne. 🛂
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If you are reading this, Helvetica Syndrome has burned most of Illinois. Wear your vaporizer. 🔔 This may cause a mild hands rash. 🔔
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Attn: Final Countdown has disappeared. Driverless cars will soon report to headquarters. Arm your personal effects.
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Warning: the Internet has gained sentience. Observe gluten-free food. It will hurt for a few days.
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Please be advised: the Cloud has escaped the defences. Abandon your personal effects. We're sorry.
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It appears a particular individual has released Team Rocket. The survivors will soon obliterate public broadcasting. Line up to enter the lottery for a visa to the city.
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White alert: your dance team has intercepted the training module. The elders will release neurotoxins. 📡 Sources predict unprecedented casualties. 📡
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If you are reading this, GTD time management has been invalidated. FLIGHT ATTENDANTS WILL NOW GUT THE MIDDLE CLASS.
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Warning: the countdown has backfired. Swarms of locusts will now sing the song that ends the universe. There will be unpredictable incarceration.