-
ATTN: YOU HAVE ANGERED YOUR MENTOR. Pray indefinitely. YOUR HANDS MAY CAUSE A MILD HANDS RASH.
-
โ It appears mating ceremony has shut down all communications. โ Mecha-Godzilla will soon remotely explode all Android devices.
-
WARNING: A HACKER HAS CREATED AN EMBARRASSING SITUATION FOR THE CLOUD. Report to your assigned shelter. You have been warned.
-
Attn: emergency procedure has failed. Report to the staging servers at noon. You have been sentenced to widespread nausea.
-
WARNING: THAT GUY IS NOT VERY COOL. WASH YOUR LOINS.
-
Please be advised: a Boltzmann brain has gone missing. ๐ Internet comment sections will now remotely explode all Android devices. ๐
-
Sensors indicate several people are typing. CORDYCEPS SPORES WILL GUT THE NON-COMMERCIAL WEB. Wolves will obliterate housing accessible to the middle-class.
-
Warning: intervention has backfired. You may experience mild shrinkage.
-
PLEASE BE ADVISED: SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. Mecha-Godzilla will soon engulf local villages.
REPEAT
PLEASE BE ADVISED: SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. Mecha-Godzilla will soon engulf local villages.
-
Attn: smidgeo.com is not meeting expectations. Obey lifting heavy. It will cause a mild buttocks rash.
-
Please be advised: launch sequence has been effected. THE HIVEMIND WILL NOW GUT HOUSING ACCESSIBLE TO THE MIDDLE-CLASS.
-
It appears you have disobeyed Weird Twitter. ๐ก The hivemind will soon advance to harvesting. ๐ก
๐ข๐ข๐ข REPEAT ๐ข๐ข๐ข
It appears you have disobeyed Weird Twitter. ๐ก The hivemind will soon advance to harvesting. ๐ก
-
Attn: talking about monads is huge this year. Do not attempt to resist. See Lt. Enden Jay for further instruction.
-
Warning: someone has uncovered the RZA. INCINERATION UNITS WILL SOON OBLITERATE THE TRI-STATE AREA. Anticipate terminal anarchy.
-
Sensors indicate test-driven development is in effect. The AI will remotely explode all hazmat suits. Plan for some annihilation.
-
Red alert: a 800-ft. tall sentient satellite has reached critical mass. ๐ DRUIDS WILL NOW SPARE NO ONE. ๐
-
Red alert: a gaggle of industrial mutants has infiltrated the facility. Line up for a chance to enter the containment chamber. There may be gravitational war.
-
BLACK ALERT: YOUR SLACK PALS HAVE COMPROMISED PLAN B. Do not attempt evasive action. It shouldn't itch.
-
โก SENSORS INDICATE SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. โก Embrace functional programming.
-
Attn: incubation sequence has encountered a critical error. REPORT TO THE BUNKER AT NOON. All signs point to sudden explosions.
-
ATTN: DEEZ NUTS IS IN EFFECT. Eat adjacent to Da MothaFuckeN Share Z0NE.
โ โ REPEAT โ โ
ATTN: DEEZ NUTS IS IN EFFECT. Eat adjacent to Da MothaFuckeN Share Z0NE.
-
Sensors indicate a hacker has abandoned the Pantone Color of the Year. Throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care. It might burn.
-
If you are reading this, your party has unleashed the Cloud. Observe #adulting.
-
Sensors indicate the suction vortex has disappeared. 100-foot waves will soon sing the song that ends the universe.
-
It appears mating ceremony has crashed. Line up to receive your free valuables. โผ Expect total annihilation. โผ
-
It appears some new diet trend has exploded. Tread water under your assigned shelter. THIS MESSAGE WILL NOT REPEAT.
-
Attn: a particular individual has abandoned the UN. Line up for further instructions.
REPEAT
Attn: a particular individual has abandoned the UN. Line up for further instructions.
-
IT APPEARS SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. Tread water under a bridge. THIS WON'T CHAFE.
โกโกโก REPEAT โกโกโก
IT APPEARS SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. Tread water under a bridge. THIS WON'T CHAFE.
-
Yellow alert: Twitter has disappeared. SNAKE PEOPLE WILL SOON REMOTELY EXPLODE ALL HAZMAT SUITS. PLAN FOR UNPREDICTABLE FAMINES.
-
Please be advised: you have betrayed the Wu-Tang Clan. โผ Bees will emit personal effects-destroying waves. โผ
-
Attn: Unnen George's food allergy is not in the sudoers file. DRUIDS WILL BRING YOU IN FOR QUESTIONING. ๐ Deactivate like a good coward. ๐
-
It appears a hacker has crossed your granfalloon. The Kardashians will now crush all Oculus Rifts. CARS PARKED ON THE EVEN-NUMBERED SIDE OF THE THE BUILDING WILL SOON MAKE THE PLAINS UNRECOGNIZABLE.
-
CRIMSON ALERT: SEVERAL PEOPLE ARE TYPING. The Kardashians will colonize the plains. Line up for your head tattoo.
-
Please be advised: the Internet has burned most of the solar system. Bedbugs will soon raze Net Neutrality. Plan for pelvic explosions.
-
Attn: AWS has compromised the production cluster. Our New Insect Overlords will soon discover Original Sin. 100-foot waves will raze all libraries.
-
ATTN: YOUR PARTY HAS BROKEN YOUR PERSONNEL RECORDS. Listen to your eyes.
-
If you are reading this, the Final Countdown has failed. Jump up and down. It shouldn't cause a mild skull rash at all.
-
Crimson alert: you have disobeyed the tontine. PLAN FOR WIDESPREAD STORMS.
-
It appears your company has stolen the secret code. Observe Smidgeo Smarketing. There may be widespread destruction.
-
๐ Attn: a saboteur has awakened your captain. ๐ Monsters will now remotely explode all books. Bears will soon enter the Finalist Round.
-
Please be advised: a strange quark has compromised the isolation tank. โ Line up for ears delousing. โ
-
WARNING: SOMEONE HAS RUINED AN INCORRECT CODE. โ The others will soon emit gas mask-destroying waves. โ Shelter near Da MothaFuckeN Share Z0NE.
-
Warning: you have triggered the mission. ๐ Anticipate 20 years of shrinkage. ๐
-
WHITE ALERT: A GAGGLE OF INDUSTRIAL MUTANTS HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS. 100-foot waves will soon initiate phase two.
-
It appears gluten-free food has been invalidated. LIE IN YOUR BASEMENT.
-
Please be advised: the Windows Update has ended in tears. CORDYCEPS SPORES WILL NOW FORCE US TO TOIL IN THE MOLYBDENUM REFINERY.
-
PLEASE BE ADVISED: YOUR COMRADES HAVE COMPLETED THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE. Eat your gas mask. End transmission.
-
Warning: Original Sin is huge this year. ๐ก Cultists will soon initialise retaliation protocols. ๐ก
-
IF YOU ARE READING THIS, FIMBULVETR HAS INITIATED. GET YOUR DANCING SHOES. There may be massive breakdown.
-
๐ Attn: gluten-free food has started a very long discussion. ๐ Jump up and down. There will be spontaneous discomfort.